Every
once in a while, the universe is kind enough to give you a place in
the middle of messes, where everything makes sense, even if it's just
for few moments. For some of us, it's in ceremonies, in music,
in relationships, at events. For me, for the last few years, many of
those moments have been in running. And that may not be true of any
5k more than the Brain Power.
When
my cancer journey started, I woke up in an ambulance after a grand
mal seizure the day after I'd come in first in a running workout. I
would be diagnosed with grade II diffuse astrocytoma, a rare brain
cancer. Immediately running would become my therapy, sneaking
out of the hospital the day before the biopsy for an 8 mile run and
putting off brain surgery to run a marathon.
However,
after brain surgery, when some things hadn’t gone right, I was
sitting feeling sorry for myself. My friends and family were shocked
that I was missing more days of running than I was putting in. But by
the kindness of the universe on my very first birthday a few months
after the surgery, 8/8 an email arrived to my running group’s list
serve announcing the Brain Power 5k, Austin’s first ever race
raising money for brain cancer research. I signed up, started
training and raising money. My friend Egon who would come with me
would tell me I needed to try to win but while there are few races
where I’m not up to giving it what I had… I didn’t know if I
was in shape to make that any type of goal.
However,
when race day came, I arrived there knowing I’d been the leading
fundraiser and at that time the most money I’d ever raised for a
charity. The race would go on and to both my shock and happiness; it
would be the first race I would win since college, almost a decade
before. I would also meet the race director and other survivors who
I’m still in contact with. Some of us have stayed in touched even
to the point of being in each other’s house. Those connections
helped a journey that often feels so alone, one that we can share and
somehow be alone together. And no matter what else had gone wrong
before the race, everything that went right at the Brain Power 5k
helped me realize it was nowhere near time to hang up the running
shoes.
But there was still something to be
learned because that first year, I took only one friend with me. So when the
second year came around, I helped put together a team, the Scarecrows
(if I only had a brain). We started fundraising earlier with more
conviction, and I was privileged to serve on the committee that
helped organize the race. Despite hitting a higher quantity than my
first yer, I would take second in the fundraising that time around.
During the race itself, because brain surgery has left me with some
spatial orientation issues, I would make a wrong turn and would run
extra and would come in further back than I do in almost every race.
While I’d love to admit that my initial reaction was just to laugh
it off as a good sport, I pouted for a bit. But a little while later,
as my teammates came in and received awards, I realized this was
better than whatever place I got at the race. Also, just as
importantly, this was the first race in my entire life that my
daughter Kiana and my mother had ever done. So it went from being a
personal victory to being a friends and family thing… and I
realized those kinds of times mattered to me a whole lot more than
mile splits.
The third year of the race, I was still
helping organize and was honored to be named as one of the first
honorary chairs. Once again, we would pump up the volume, get a
bigger team and raise more funds. Still showing the progress of the
race, even with more funds, I would take in the 3rd year,
third in the fundraising. But there were teammates there that I had
met years before and
some a few weeks before from running marathons
and Spartans. It was and is comforting to know that the army against
brain tumors is getting bigger and gives me more faith that brain
tumors may still be ahead in some areas but you better believe we’re
getting closer to victory. It was one week after I ran a marathon and
despite rugged legs, I would manage to stay on course and take 3rd
place and win my age group. Two and a half years into brain cancer I
was running a faster time a week after a marathon with cancer than I
used to without cancer or a race the weekend before. And afterwards
we held a party where you better believe we celebrated with
conviction.
I can’t quite think of a race that
year after year grows in meaning, in fundraising, in connections. The
organizing committee gives me a hard time about my being single and
suggests selling off a date with me as a fundraiser or that I should
propose inside the inflatable brain that we always put out on this
4th time at the race. While that’s not likely to happen,
the reason the race keeps getting better for me and lots of others is
because those who organize it realize that the reason we fight cancer
is to keep hope, joys, connections, faith, the meaning of life going
for those of us who got an unfortunate turn with a piece of our mind.
Perhaps that the Brain Power 5k for me
will keep getting better will not always be the case. I’ve certainly met
and shared stories and tears with those who are there in honor of
those who have passed or those who are there in honor of someone who
doesn’t have the capacity to run it themselves that day. While my
cancer and seizures have finally gotten under control (I had to get
rides to 2 of the 3 due to a driving restriction), I don’t work off
the assumption that they always will. I personally am one
week away from my MRI as I write and believe you me, I hate being in
the MRI machine, it is to me the loneliest place in the universe and
still where I appreciate friends and family the most. So the brain
power 5k will be one of the happy thoughts in that machine trying to
focus on that the fear of the unknown is semi irrelevant since the
future really is always unknown.. And well, if
the pattern of the Brain Power 5k is indicative of something is that
with some effort and heart even with a damaged brain, the unknown
future may turn out to be better than we dreamed.
Support J or join his team here!
My name is Nikki Gibson. I was diagnosed with a benign subependymoma in
December 2012. I was 24 years old. Last year I participated in the Brain Power 5K for the first time. It was so much fun! It was a great feeling
being one of the Powerful People. It was very encouraging to be
surrounded by so many survivors like myself...to meet people that have
gone through what I've gone through. I first decided to do the race
after my neurologist told me about it and encouraged me to attend. It's
important for me to do the race so I can be a representative for all the
survivors. It's also important for me to show support for family and
friends racing in memory of lost loved ones. It meant so much to me last
year to have my family and friends support me. I hope more of them are
able to come out and support me this year. I really love the fact that
all the money donated goes towards brain tumor research. Not only that,
but the BP5K is raising even more awareness by broadcasting the event on
the local news...that's wonderful! The Brain Power 5K was such an
inspiring experience for me last year and I can't wait to race again
this year! :)
